<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>My Novelty Life by barelyevenlegal</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26713261">My Novelty Life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/barelyevenlegal/pseuds/barelyevenlegal'>barelyevenlegal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Scrubs (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Crew as Family, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:14:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26713261</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/barelyevenlegal/pseuds/barelyevenlegal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>21-year-old Aaliyah Johnson is a family medicine resident in Sacred Heart Hospital. She's the youngest doctor in the state of California, the fifth youngest in the U.S., and the seventh youngest in the world (...yes, it matters). She's just trying to get through her media frenzied, chaotic life. Well, maybe not, if the new doctors drive her to insanity first.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carla Espinosa Turk/Christopher Turk, Perry Cox/John "JD" Dorian, Perry Cox/Jordan Sullivan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Novelty Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>July 1st, 2001</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Aaliyah Johnson jovially enters Sacred Heart Hospital, otherwise known as the most depressing place on Earth. She greets the Janitor as he's <em>actually</em> cleaning, jumping over him as he's bent over. "Good morning, Janitor!"</p><p>"'Morning Curly," he looks up.</p><p>She makes her way to her floor's nurses' station. "Good morning ladies!" She smiles charmingly at the nurses, who mostly fondly smile back. "Morning, Aaliyah," they all say asynchronously. She grabs five of her patient charts for the day, taking a spot to review her charts next to the Chief of Medicine.</p><p>"Good Morning, Bobby Boy!" Aaliyah pats Dr. Kelso's back, with a shit eating grin on her face, as she moves to see her first patient of the day. </p><p>"Hello, Dr. Johnson," Kelso calls after her.</p><p>"Yes, sir?"</p><p>"you call me that again and I'll have your ass doing so much paperwork you won't see the light of day."</p><p>"uh, Bobbo, you seem to forget who you're talking to,"</p><p>"ah, that's right Kelso! I'm a novelty. You wouldn't want to get rid of this dump's biggest attraction, would you?" she smirked. "that's what I thought," she finishes, turning on her heel to leave, only to crash into a wall of medical interns.</p><p>"You've got to be kidding me," The young physician groans. "It's July 1st, really?! How come nobody told me today was that day?" She looks around, only to see Dr. Kelso with indifference schooled on his face.  But she knows better.</p><p>"huh, you'd think the youngest doctor in this hospital would be smart enough to know the date..." Kelso mutters, mindlessly looking over his clipboard. "actually, Dr. Johnson, since you are the <em>face of this hospital, </em>I think it would be wonderful if you gave these lovely new doctors a tour of the hospital!" Dr. Kelso paints that stupid evil smirk (the one that looks like a really, really wide smile) on his face.</p><p>"But Dr. Kelso, I have patients--" the Chief of Medicine interrupts her complaint. </p><p>"Doctor Cox can take care of them for you!" Kelso responds, leaving no room for excuses.</p><p>"Hate to break it to ya Bobbo, but I'd mu-<em>hu-</em>ch rather kiss your lonely wife's bunions than run around taking care of the Pandora's box of patients Princess Doctor has," Doctor Cox rants, going off on an Aaliyah impression. "Shut up!" With a trace of a smile on her face, she shoves him into the wall in an attempt to to stop him from embarrassing her more. "Actually, here! You-- Newbie!" Dr. Cox points to a baby-faced intern clad in blue-gray scrubs. The intern doctor looks up. "These are your patients now, round with me." Perry whistles, urging him in the direction of the patients' rooms.</p><p>"Poor kid," Aaliyah scoffs. The 20-something turns to the interns, who were whispering and giggling to each other like a bunch of high school girls.</p><p>"Hello, youngins. I'm Dr. Johnson, your tour guide for today. Follow me," She starts walking without any warning. All the talking stopped, with the exception of one: "Who's she callin' young? She's a pipsqueak!" A guy in green scrubs whisper-yells. All of the unit pauses whatever they're doing, and stares in the direction of the comment.</p><p>"Oh honey... Only Jesus can save you now," Laverne says pitifully.</p><p>Aaliyah stops in her tracks, and practically turns her head 360 degrees. "Who said that?" She growls. All the interns point at the surgical intern in the middle, scooting themselves away from the offender.</p><p>She cackles like a witch, slowly inching herself up to the poor doctor. "Listen here, Mr... Christopher Turk," she reads off his ID badge.</p><p>And he still had the audacity to correct her. "Actually, it's... it's Doctor," that interruption sets the girl off the edge. </p><p>"I KNOW WHAT I SAID," She yells. "Now shut up and LISTEN," Aaliyah shouts. "The disrespect... I take it all day from my patients, my colleagues... but you're fresh out of med school, hun. Me? I've been out for 2 years. I know I'm young, but I also know what I'm doing more than you, Newb," She continues, "Disrespect me again, and you'll be doing so many rectal exams your nightmares will be filled with buttholes," Aaliyah threatens. </p><p>The family medicine doctor walks off, high-fiving an impressed Dr. Cox.</p><p>"Walk with me!" The gaggle of interns rushes after her. "Now I'm going to be doing a lot of talking. Deal with it, because this is the only time you'll get someone to explain things to you. And you better listen, because I'm not repeating myself," Aaliyah starts her tour, walking backwards.</p><p>"I'm sure you've met Ted, the hospital sadsa-- I mean lawyer. He probably directed your orientation and it didn't help you out much, so here is the real lowdown on this place."</p><p>"the nurses station! A hangout for just about anyone who isn't tending to a patient." She pauses her go-around, and faces the new doctors once. "Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, be rude to the nurses. I don't care if you're tired, I don't care if you had to clean fresh shit from the sewers. Don't do it. The nurses are the heart of this hospital, and can and will make or break your residency here."</p><p>--</p><p>After their tour, Aaliyah leads the interns to a lecture room. </p><p>"Did Ted tell you who your residents were?" She looks around the room for an answer. A blonde, disheveled-looking woman in the back responds.</p><p>"No, all he did was sort of ramble about lawsuits-- frick! Was I not supposed to say that?" She slaps her forehead.</p><p>Aaliyah giggles. She's cute. "No, it's fine. Pretty much what I expected from him. Good thing I stole Dr. Kelso's clipboard-- don't tell him that. Let the man suffer." She smirks. The girl reads off the list of interns and their corresponding residents.</p><p>"A little tip: don't kill anyone, okay? I don't want to have to deal with your mess. Now go, before you're late for rounds." </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>